Hixie's Natural Log

2010-01-07 00:33 UTC Phone "support"

I'm on hold with T-Mobile. The guy is very nice, but there's so much interference I can barely hear what he's saying half the time. Something about me having to pay a month in advance instead of at the end of the month (which I prefer anyway), and something about the order not going through for "reasons unknown" though he has already done "the credit check". Beats me why a credit check is necessary if I'm paying in advance without a contract, by the way, but that's another story. Same thing happened when I paid cash to buy a car recently. "We need to run a credit check". You knock yourself out.

Why can't all this stuff be done by e-mail? Really? I hate phones.

Time passes.

Hey check this out. The support guy gave up, and now I'm doing this all over again with sales! At least the connection is clearer now. Ok so I want the $59.99 plan, which of course comes with a $1.21 non-tax non-government "regulatory" fee and a $35 "activation" fee (given how hard this has been so far, I understand charging an activation fee, though I wonder if we could come to some arrangement wherein I get paid for my part in this ordeal also).

"Sir, what is your phone number?" Well, I don't know, aren't you supposed to tell me that? I mean, I don't have a phone, that's why I'm buying a phone. After trying to explain that I just gave them my Google Voice number — it's not connected to anything but at least they can leave me voicemail, I guess.

Ok, now we have to go through the terms of service... don't forget to opt out of the "you can't use the legal system if we screw you over" option.

"Actually sir, you can't have Flex Pay, you have to have Take Control." I have no idea what that sentence means. I wasn't aware I was trying to get either of those. What are you talking about. "Um..." time passes again "Ok it's going to be $59.99 plus $1.25 tax" (it's not a tax, that's a lie, but we'll let that slide) "so that's a total of $70." I'm going to briefly ignore the fact that those numbers don't add up, and ask where the activation fee went.

"Um... there's no activation fee with this plan."

"It's still the 500-minute, unlimited web, unlimited sms plan?"


"And how do I transfer an existing number to this SIM card?"

"Oh, uh, call technical support when you've received the SIM card. Yeah. We can't do that now but we can do that once we've taken your money, I'm sure."

I so have no idea what I've purchased.

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